I'm not sure if I'm referring to the jobs applied to or my mind! Probably both!
Yes, the 2 new positions I applied to have been filled; I didn't even get an interview. It seems like the person already subbing in that position has the job locked in but that the districts have to post the position in order to be legal.
I'm hoping that now that I am "activated" as a sub that I will start getting my name and face out there. I just don't know how long it will be before I am actually called to sub or how long I can actually afford to just su!
People think it's so fantastic that I get alimony but they don't know what I go through every month; waiting to see when it arrives (always late) and then waiting to see if the check clears. I am now 3 checks behind as he is sending bad checks but I am the one whose account is red-flagged and turned over to the "risk management" department! Now there is a 10 day hold on my deposits; so I wait and wait only to find out that the checks have once again bounced!!
This from a man who owned 3 cars, a set of golf clubs for each car, yet made me pay for my own haircuts, etc out of my part time pay while we were married!!!!
The bottom line is that my stress level is so high that my health is being affected; my fibro is flaring up big time and I'm now having heart palpitations and panic attacks.
I don't know how much longer I can handle this. I wish I could run away.